| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|01:59 am] |
FUCK!?
TWICE IN A WEEK?????
remember when we were friends...? like when we went out to dinner and watched dog the bounty hunter on your bed but didn't touch each other and we were really awkward? i do. i miss that. i even miss when we tried to be friends after we broke up and we slept together in your bed and nothing happened but you held me like you used to. it made me sad then, and it makes me sad now...not as much but only because the context is much different from when i was in tampa and you were so relevant.
FUCK.
i really hope these are the chemicals in my brain reacting to you this way for the last time before they die and i can't even recall your face. i really hope thats what's going on and i'm not just fucked up.
goodnight. |
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| a letter to you |
[Aug. 12th, 2007|02:15 pm] |
sometimes i wish you were dead so it'd be okay for me to still miss you.
i'm long done getting over you but, yeah i miss you. i probably will as long as you're not in my life, but i'm not sure that i want you back ever...even as a friend, just because i've changed so much since january. maybe you have too, even though in my mind you're the same as when we went our separate ways.
i have a lot more to say to you, but i've kind of lost my balls when it comes to "bearing my feelings" even though nobody will ever see this. it's just weird to write it out. it makes it more real, and maybe the things i'm trying to say shouldn't be real. you were a big chunk of my life that changed everything.
like you know when you have a lot of deja vu in a short amount of time, and you feel like something big is about to change? you were that for me. i'm so different after you. thank you and fuck you.
like i told you, i'm too pussy to say what i need to say right now...so i'll stop here.
i don't really wish you were dead. |
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